First, we must learn how to be married but that is a very broad topic and covers who and what we are, what love is, and how to experience it (it is not just “increased like” or emotion as the mainstream thinks}. Knowing what won’t work is as useful as knowing what will Simple stuff until you allow your mundane thinking to get in the way of opening your heart. We want to be happy and we want to feel love. Every one of us gets married for two primary and overriding reasons. You promised your husband that you would love him in ways that knocked his socks off and instead of sticking with that rough ‘plan’ your marriage has gone the way of so many because we are simply not doing what we promised. Go back to the basics and back to your vows. It is important to make your marriage the highest priority in your life. And, by the way, you too should take the advice from the counselor. The techniques promoted by most are as destructive as atom bombs and you have already tried them because they are everywhere, even though they don’t work. Husbands are simply not equipped to handle confrontation or the “you made me feel” attacks so often promoted by mainstream “experts”.
It’s wise that you didn’t say anything to your husband.
You might do fine learning about marriage with one of our books, or you might consider the course for women if this is just the tip of the iceberg and your marriage is getting worse in other areas, too… The counselor gave good advice and I will add to it. Then he would tell me something like, ‘I married you, didn’t I?'” Our counselor Respondedīeing humiliated, embarrassed, and frustrated are ‘normal’ reactions but emotions don’t expose the truth of what is happening, or ‘not’ happening in your marriage so putting emotions aside you should probably see his actions as a wake-up call to improve your marriage instead of an excuse to blame him (though, of course, he should not be so crude). “I have read about standing up to my husband and telling him how I feel, but I know him. It’s humiliating, as I stand there trying to smile. Why does my husband flirt?” “I pretend it doesn’t bother me, but it makes me feel like I’m on a date with someone who is always looking for a better catch. But when we are at Starbucks or a restaurant, he always flirts with the girls who take our order.” Also, he is a good father to our children. He is a good man and doesn’t cheat on me. Someone wrote to us at TMF*, “In all other ways, he is a great husband.